MEGAN BOYLE — Three Poems

My Dog My dog has special needs My dog is special needs My dog’s special needs require your attention My dog has allergies you wouldn’t even know They thought my dog had a rare kind of celiac disease But actually my dog can only eat fermented gluten My dog only ate fermented gluten until it had a seizure That’s when we discovered it can only eat raw beef prepared with AA battery fluid and reconstituted bone marrow It’s a special needs dog Probably more special than you My dog is environmentally conscious My dog stares into space and heals the ozone My dog is zero waste because it eats its own shit Don’t get me started on my dog’s microbiome My dog’s guts are so rife with bacterial flora that they created the universe we live in today and you don’t even know it and you’ll never know it because you’re dumb and ignant My dog’s leg will be amputated soon Because it is better for the environment And dogs are meant to walk that way My fiancé and I came to this difficult and heartbreaking conclusion After listening to some podcasts Please send strength and Donations greatly help My dog’s gender is 9261290367762317391590 I know it looks like a tracking number But it is actually the 119th element of the periodic table It makes sense It will be added when my dog dies It will all make sense, I promise The Golden Bachelorette I want them to be doing weird rituals They need to be doing more rituals In spaces inspired by Borges Impossible spaces I want them in long robes Many costume changes I want them changing from robes into other robes into other robes A mobius strip of robes Robes of all colors In impossible spaces Zero gravity I want light to be blasting through their skin I want light bursting out their bellies Then worms burst out the light holes Whoever the worms choose wins When the worms choose the winner, the worms go: "This is what happens, Larry, when you fuck a stranger in the ass” In unison. Then all the unchosen ones go: “This is what happens” In unison It’s a ritual Yeah I want Jodorowsky things to happen to them BUT I WANT IT TO ALWWYW SAY “ROCKVILLE Oh sorry But I want it to always say “Rockville, Maryland” on the bottom of the screen I’ll probably add more later Titled Poem When I was 1 I felt ageless When I was 2 I felt ageless When I was 3 I felt 3 When I was 4 I felt 35 and 4 When I was 5 I felt 6 When I was 6 I felt 6 When I was 7 I felt 7 When I was 8 I felt 1000 and 10 When I was 9 I felt 13 When I was 10 I felt 9 When I was 11 I felt 1000 and 15 When I was 12 I felt 60 and 16 When I was 13 I felt 16 and 10 When I was 14 I felt 14 When I was 15 I felt 18 When I was 16 I felt 21 and 16 When I was 17 I felt 21 and 18 When I was 18 I felt 25 and 18 When I was 19 I felt 26 and 19 When I was 20 I felt 18 When I was 21 I felt 21 When I was 22 I felt 30 When I was 23 I felt 35 When I was 24 I felt 45 When I was 25 I felt 60 When I was 26 I felt 75 When I was 27 I felt 5000 When I was 28 I felt 110 or 62 or 55 When I was 29 I felt ageless When I was 30 I felt 30 When I was 31 I felt 30 When I was 32 I felt 30 When I was 33 I felt 33 When I was 34 I felt 28 When I was 35 I felt 28 When I was 36 I felt 30 When I was 37 I felt 32 When I was 38 I felt 34 When I was 39 I felt 40 Now I’m 40 Megan Boyle is an AT&T subscriber whose voicemail box has not been set up yet.